[Private]: How would I know if it’s hard? I don’t know any better, do I? I am told that it is the reason for my NPD, my eagerness to jump into bed with anyone humanoid with a pulse… I don’t know, it all comes back to seeking attention, doesn’t it?
Don’t beat yourself up about it so much. You were ‘trained’ not to say anything, I get that, but it’s not like you spilt every single minute detail about your life - including the bits that sound so weird and suspicious that I’m not even going to ask because you’re right I doubt I would believe you - and even if you did say things you shouldn’t have said, it’s not like the therapist was going to do anything with the information, is it? And as guilty as you might feel, it’s good to get things out sometimes. Whatever you feel about your family doesn’t mean you love them any less. Everyone has issues with their family, it’s normal. In fact, it’d be really weird if everything to do with your home life was all sunshine and smiles.
Because, like you said - wasn’t it hard not to have anyone? It sounds to me you needed someone more than I did.
[Private]: I don’t know, maybe you’re right. But what you’re doing isn’t improving anything, is it? Sleeping around is nice, I get it. I do it, too. But these are strangers you’re luring into bed. Wouldn’t it be better to receive attention from someone in particular, that you actually like for not just their looks, rather than a random hook-up you barely know the name of?
Of course the guy wouldn’t do anything with the information, but still, it didn’t feel good. Even if I love them despite some things I’ve said—it doesn’t change that I’ve said things I’m not proud of and can’t take back. It’s not the fact that I have issues with them, because I know what families are like, but I should’ve told them rather than some asshole shrink that was basically a stranger.
But I wasn’t alone. I had Liz. I didn’t need anyone else.